Thursday, February 15, 2007

fighting fire with fire ants

No one likes a homophobe, except for maybe other homophobes and uncles. And there is no better way to cure a homophobe than by placing things in that homophobe's ass*. So Tim Hardaway just needs to have things inserted in his bum. My first thought was fire ants.

What would YOU put up Tim Hardaway's ass?

*The asterisk denotes that this fact is based on scientific fact, although I can't find any scientific facts to back this up.

13 comments:

Unknown said...

the yellow pages. rolled up for ultimate comfort.

Ranjit said...

17 lbs of raw meat.

And then pit bulls should be able to retrieve it.

Also, he should be forced to represent the US in basketball at the Gay Games.

Anonymous said...

A pine cone. Then I'd strap him to a mechanical bull.

WJR said...

A pineapple.

Scott said...

My coworker George. Just because.

TK said...

Gosh, so many ideas. Anna Nicole's festering corpse? My size 12 boot, sideways? Honey, followed by a swarm of angry bees?

Oh, I know - his dead-in-the-water career!

What a jackass.

Andrea Knapp said...

Hot molten lava.....

Doogs said...

A case of Zima

Naynayfazz said...

I think the NBA player who just came out should stick his fist in Tim's ass for saying that. Right up to his elbow.

Yum.

Love your blog by the way. It is s so funny!

Dan said...

Richard Pryor

SD said...

George Takei (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA20dKc3kK8)

Jason said...

roller skates

Unknown said...

alright kids, it's time 2 learn how this shit is really done:
i would call mr. hardaway over 2 my house 4 a lil session of 'therapy' for his rampaging homophobia. then i would soothingly tell him that he needs 2 exfoliate all of his clothes 2 truly begin his journey of rejuvenation; then i would tell him 2 get on my massage table face down, ass up so i could soothe his seemingly misguided notions; then i would bring in 2 of the biggest-dicked homosexuals (who are both wearing mitch richmond and chris mullen masks, btw) and tell them 2 go 2 work; then i would film it and call it "Runnin' the train on TMC."
then i would market that shit as the best gonzo/gay/nba porno scene of all time...
i ask: who can really top that?